Family (what it should be)

With the year I had last year, I understand more than ever the meaning and importance of family. I never truly appreciated that no matter what, my family has always been there. While I may have had a difficult upbringing at their hands, they have always been there. I see other families, some I consider to be what I wish I had, while other are much worse and totally dysfunctional in their own ways. Why can't we appreciate what we have and accept people for who and what they are? It's just sad.

The best definition of family I've found is;

Contemporary society generally views family as a haven from the world, supplying absolute fulfillment. The family is considered to encourage "intimacy, love and trust where individuals may escape the competition of dehumanizing forces in modern society."

I don't judge anyone, we all make mistakes, that is part of life, we live and learn. But when you turn your back on someone who you are supposed to love unconditionally and not just turn your back, but even take the side of the person who has abused, wronged and tore them down, then I find it very difficult to understand or agree with.

I really hope we all can take a look at what you've done and fix things before they are no longer fixable. It would be a huge loss overall to allow it to continue to crumble away to nothing. Life is so fragile and none of us are guaranteed anymore time that what we are given here. You can't say someday I'll fix it, someday may never come. That person may not always be here to fix it with and tell them how much you love and care about them. Don't put off until tomorrow or someday what you need to do today :)

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Letting Go....

If I've learned anything in life in the last few years, I learned that you never know what life has in store for you and that you have to roll with the punches. You may lose someone close to you to death, or struck down by a debilitating illness. You may be married and thinking life is going along great, just to find out that the other person isn't happy, whether with their self or with you. You may think you have a great  job that will always be there, just to find yourself unemployed and losing your home. You may find out someone you put so much trust into didn't value your trust and friendship at all. There are no guarantees in life.

Loss of any of these kinds, death, divorce, end of a personal relationship, loss of employment, etc, etc, can be devastating and take a long time to get over. Many of us tend to hang on the what we've lost and cause ourselves suffering. We all have to go through pain with these losses, but many of us, just can't let go and move on and we drag out the pain, thus we are causing ourself to suffer.

Letting go of what we are hanging on to is easier said than done. Whether it's being scared of being alone, or being scared of what changes will happen with this loss, what will others think of us, or whatever it may be, letting go will allow you to start healing and start living again.

After this year, I see alot of people out there suffering, some I can help, some I can't but wish I could. I can't judge anyone, there is NO one that I look down on, we are all equals and we're all going through life in the same world with pain, happiness and sadness. I hope these people who I know are suffering find a way to let go and find some peace and happiness. It all doesn't have to be so angry, hateful and all. Think of the blessing you have, whether it's children, a loving immediate family (mother, father, siblings), your health and your life,  no one can take away these things.

We have no idea of the life someone else has went through, why they are how they are and we definitely have no right to judge them. We're all in this world together, reach out and help someone when they look down, are upset and just give them an ear. It can change their world, it can change their day.

Here is a great article on letting go after a failed marriage. It really helped me this year when Missy left and I found myself alone and dealing with childhood trauma, it helped me make it through and turn my life around.

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/213

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